Earning Vs Winning

  I was once again focused on the matters of the heart, and I asked myself would I rather a guy who earned my trust and ultimately my heart or would I allow him the chance to win it, and which do I believe would be the most rewarding on our behalf. Then, of course, I thought to myself, is there really even a difference.
  To earn something is to have proven yourself worthy of it, either by character, and honest effort. Say if one were to earn a promotion at work, or earn a spot on a team, or quite simply earn money, in each situation an individual has proven that he or she is both qualified, and even entitled to his or her gain. When a person has earned something, and proven themselves it is then irrefutable, and no one can take their earnings away from them, or deny what is rightfully theirs.
  However, if one is to win something, it is by grace, and usually bestowed either by the approval, judgement, or opinion of another. Yes, there is a bit of work required for the title, yet the most potent part is talent. (This, ladies, we will refer to as "game").

• Now, just because I used the word "game" does not mean I am attatching a negative connotation with it, because in actuality love, relationships, life, success....its all a game, and the only thing that makes it bad, is when one does not go at it with integrity.

  Integrity, in fact is what separates the earnest from the winner. In life, there will be plenty of guys vying for our young, impressionable, delicate hearts. All, of course, with different intentions. No, it will not be quite so easy to spot, or "sort" out the guy with the pure intentions, or integrity. This is where these few hints come in handy:

• Time- a "winner" only has a limited amount of time, because he understands he is in competition. So often, he will cut the "chit-chat", and get right to the chase, meaning he will not allow you or himself enough time to honestly get to know each other, in fact he may even present you with a promise ring the following week after you two have met. Yet, an earnest fellow understands that time is important in a "growing" relationship. Think of the earnest guy, as an investor, yes, he may take his time and test the waters a few times, but it is only to ensure that you and him are getting to know each other, and are making the right decisions. (in most cases).
• Patience- Ever hear the term, "Patience Is Key". Well ladies, when it comes to Mr. Right, this is actually true! Patience ties in, of course, with time; but it deals more so with relationship expectations, and tolerance. Often, the "winner" will expect you to be comfortable meeting certain demands that you may feel uncomfortable with. Great Example, SEX. This is why we as young women, should always (even with an earnest fellow), set boundaries, and if he can not show any patience with you, then you do not have to tolerate him. "To the Left" An earnest man, will understand and respect you, and your boundaries, and will not be so quick to lay any sort of expectations on you.
• Commitment and Goals- Sometimes you'll think, "well after all this time, he's been hanging in there with me, and he hasn't really bugged me about getting into bed, so he must take the relationship serious". This is not always the case, (you don't want to make that mistake). Yes, though I mentioned time as being a judge of an earnest character, there are still some "fool's gold"-tricks out there. A real earnest guy will usually take pride in himself, and that will eventually rub off onto the relationship, and eventually you. Face it, no one wants to be with a LOSER. (not saying that you are). However, along with the relationship growing, an earnest guy will encourage the best in you to shine. While a "winner" may not pay attention or care much less, whether you succeeded with your goals in life, he'll simply be concerned with reaching his own. (Trust me on this ladies, I've been there).

  Lastly, this is where sincerity comes into play. When comparing earning and winning someones heart, you must always include the sincerity behind it, and care being brought forth. People, guys, anyone who seeks to earn something, will put their heart into it, and when concerning relationships he will put his heart into you as well. A winner puts their heart in as well, but that is only because he or she knows there will be a profit at the end. Instead, an earnest individual is not giving their heart because they expect something in return, but because they are faithful characters. They often, like you, are unsure what the outcome will be, whether they are wasting their time or actually building upon something. Blind faith is more passionate, and ultimately more rewarding.

  So ladies, the next time you meet a guy, or think about beginning a relationship, take some time first ,size the individual up (its okay to do that), and see if he has integrity in his character, and is he sincere about you. And remember the charming words of Rudy Huxtable "You have to EARN my LOVE".