Movie Review: Crazy, Stupid, Love

Fighting For Your Soul Mate!

   Though I'm no famed movie critic, I must give the film, Crazy, Stupid Love, written by Dan Fogelman, and directed by Glenn Ficarra and John Requa, three thumbs up!!! If you've been having a tough time with love lately, relax, catch a matinee, and see this creatively written, romantic-comedy. The film stars, funny-man, Steve Carell, (which in my opinion, he did a fantastic job diversifying himself as an actor), as Cal Weaver, Ryan Gossling, (my new celebrity crush!!), as Jacob Palmer, and Analeigh Tipton, (from Tyra Banks' America's Next Top Model season 3), as Jessica Riley. Other stars include, Julianne Moore, Emma Stone, and Kevin Bacon. The plot was very creative as well. Cal Weaver, a middle aged married man, with three children, is thrown for a very wild emotional loop, when his wife, Emily (Julianne Moore), of twenty-five years suddenly asks for a divorce, and later confesses that she had an affair with a co-worker. Pretty much settled into the monotony of life, Cal is unable to handle such a dramatic turn. This is where Jacob Palmer, a womanizing, ladies-man, comes in and offers to save Cal from his downward spiral of drunken nights at the bar and incessant blabber of hurt and betrayal brought on by his wife's affair. Though, Jacob was able to transform Cal from "drab-to-fab", and the two were able to form a sort of a "bromance", we see that Jacob is also battling with deep feelings of an unfulfilled love life. All the while, these two men are well aware of what they truly desire in life, yet are unable to properly satisfy it. The big quest, according to Cal's 13 year old son, who is enamored with his 17 year old babysitter, (Jessica), is simple, (I'm loosely quoting), "you never stop fighting for your soul mate". In the spectrum of things, Cal was able to realize that his soul-mate was and would always be his wife Emily, even though the two felt they had drifted apart. Shockingly, Cal's adult daughter, Hannah (Emma Stone), turns out to be Jacob's soul mate, and is able to transform him from a ladies' man, to a devoted, one woman man.

   Is love really this simple? Robbie Weaver is convinced! And after watching the movie, I must say, I became a believer myself. Although the characters in this film had already been acquainted with their soul mates, or had meet them long ago, it still gives the message, I believe, that your soul mate is out there, and is worth waiting for. Often we will seek many different relationships that will probably satisfy our fantasies or desires, for the moment, but will not provide sustenance to a more meaningful, growing, or loving relationship. (Pay attention to Jacob Palmer's love-life, it portrays this meaning perfectly). In essence, fighting then becomes more of a passion to seek and find [true love and happiness], rather than an effort.

   Well anyway I will not try to derive or influence your interpretation of the film, I simply encourage that you go out this week or weekend and see this warm, comical, and inspirational film.

Before You Take the Next Step!

Every relationship out here today, whether it is short or long, young, or mature will come to a point of intimacy. Intimacy, whether it is physical, spiritual, or emotional is a very big step for two people to take towards one another. In order to arrange these steps, there is also a great deal of trust, respect, and communication that has to go along with this. Sorry to say, but anything else would just be a foolish decision! In this post I will focus on physical intimacy the most, because although there are rewards and consequences that follow each type of intimacy, the consequences of physical intimacy are a direct blow to our health. Also, many people do not take the time to really communicate with their partners before they begin physical intimacy, and are sometimes left with regrets.
Sexually transmitted diseases, (STDs), are perhaps the most prevalent consequence of any sexual encounter. The Center for Disease Control, (CDC), reports an estimated 19 million cases of STDs each year. (http://stdtesting.com/how-many-people-have-stds). But this is the scary part, not every case is reported. This is because, not everyone will develop symptoms, or decide to get tested. Yet, even worse is that half of this 19 million are of people only ages 15-24 years of age. (http://stdtesting.com/how-many-people-have-stds). It is almost safe to say that if you are sexually active, you will come in contact, if not contract, an STD in your lifetime.
The Most Common STD's:
Chlamydia-is the most commonly reported sexually transmitted disease in the US alone. (http://www.cdc.gov/std/chlamydia/STDFact-Chlamydia.htm). Notice in the graph below chlamydia is the highest reported STD in the year 2009 (and still is).
Cases of STDs reported by state health departments: United States, 1997-2009

http://www.avert.org/std-statistics-america.htm
Chlamydia, like most sexually transmitted diseases is "silent", meaning symptoms often do not occur. This contributes to its wide spread, because, let's face it, if there's nothing bothering us we will not see a doctor. Going untreated, this infection travels throughout the entire reproductive system, causing serious and lasting damage. For women, it can contribute to Pelvic Inflammatory Disease, (a disease causing inflammation of a women's uterus, and fallopian tubes), ectopic pregnancy (pregnant occurring outside of the uterus), and infertility in both men and women.
If you are one of the lucky ones, and do experience symptoms they will most likely be:
-pain during urination
-abnormal discharge
-swelling in the genital area
-abdominal pain (PID)
-common infection symptoms (sore throat, runny nose, fever, headache, fatigue, nausea, diarrhea)
Check here for more info: http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/stds-hiv-safer-sex/chlamydia-4266.htm
Thankfully, there is a cure for chlamydia. Once diagnosed you and your doctor will be able to decide which antibiotic treatment is best for you.
Human Papillomavirus (HPV)-like chlamydia is also extremely common and extremely dangerous. Shockingly, not alot of people are well educated on this STD infection, yet many people live with it. Most often people only associate HPV as the virus that causes cervical cancer in women. Although it does, this disease extends way further than that. Like most, HPV symptoms are silent, in fact the only way to really know if you have it is to take responsibility and speak with your gynecologist and have a pap smear done. (A pap smear is a gynecological procedure performed with female patients to check a woman's cervix and uterus, and make sure everything is functioning well). When your gynecologist receives an abnormal result in your pap smear test, he or she will then proceed to find out the cause. This is how HPV is detected in women. Sadly, there is no way to successfully test a man for HPV infection, (which is what, I believe, contributes also to its wide spread).
There are more than 100 different strains (types) of HPV most with their own complications. The most common HPV complications include genital warts and cancers of the cervix, vulva, vagina, anus, penis, head, throat, and neck. Approximately 12 of HPV can cause warts, the most common are types 6 and 11. Additionally, there are at least 15 different strains to cause cancers, most common being types 16 and 18. (http://www.acog.org/publications/patients_education/).
Unfortunately there is no cure for HPV. Yet HPV, especially in young people can, in most cases, eventually be destroyed naturally by the bodies immune system.(http://www.cdc.gov/std/hpv/stdfact-hpv.htm) if, however the body is unable to destroy the virus, there is still a good chance that the virus (depending on which strain you have) will not harm you in any way at all.
Genital Herpes (HSV-2)-many people are familiar with the fact that a cold-sore is a sign of herpes infection. That infection is unbelievably common, and is referred to as HSV-1. HSV-2, is quit simply cold sores or blisters found on or around the genital area. The transmission of HSV-1 can contribute to HSV-2 infection, especially through oral sexual contact, and vice versa. There should be no surprise that this STD infection can also go silent, and undetected. HSV-2 can live within a person's body for a long time before he or she may experience an outbreak, (symptoms unique to HSV-2).
Symptpms associated with HSV-2 are simple; the on-set of an outbreak, (blisters, sores, and swelling). Complications of herpes is both physical and psychological, (psychological in the sense that those who know they are infected often experience depression or feelings of social shame and/or rejection). Physical complications involve pregnant women; if newly infected the virus can cause serious brain damgae to the baby, also during birth (only during an active outbreak) the virus can be passed onto the baby, infecting the eyes.There is no cure for HSV-1 or HSV-2, however your doctor can prescribe treatments, if symptoms are too severe.
Read More at http://www.cdc.gov/std/Herpes/STDFact-Herpes.htm.
Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV)/ Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome (AIDS)-HIV and AIDS seems almost as a worst nightmare to many people, and can often make people very uncomfortable when brought up. So much so, that many will neglect to get proper testing, and neglect to face the real facts about it. To be honest, AIDS is one of the most fatal diseases worldwide, so it is understandable to see why the subject, possibility, or even reality of it may be so hard to handle. Yet, notice I only mention AIDS as being fatal and not HIV. Although HIV does eventually lead to AIDS it can be managed for quite some time, almost so that in many people the possibility of progressing to late stage HIV, or AIDS, is not even a haunting grief. I can not even share with you, the many stories and blessed testimonies I've heard of individuals in my community who were able to survive years with the HIV virus, and who live healthy, manageable lifestyles. This is all because they took initiative in their health, and became knowledgeable.
HIV is a virus that is spread by bodily fluids, including blood, semen, and vaginal secretions. It is not always passed through sexual contact, however, the top transmissions are sexual contact, mother-to-fetus/birth/breast-feeding, shared drug use(or injecting drugs), and faulty blood transfusions.(http://www.kingcounty.gov/healthservices/health/communicable/hiv/basic/transmission.aspx).
There's no need for me to say, but there will not always, mostly never, be any clear signs that you've been infected. Many suggest that it will take a few to ten years to begin developing actual signs and symptoms of HIV. Primary symptoms will follow at least two weeks after infection, but these only include the symptoms that you experience whenever any type of infection inters your body, they include: swollen glands, fever, headache, fatigue, muscle aches, nausea, and vomiting. More obvious signs will come a while later, for example:
-weight loss
-fatigue
-persistent sweating
-persistent yeast and fungal infections
-blisters and sores
-rash
(http://www.webmd.com/hiv-aids/guide/hiv-symptoms).
But this does not mean testing will not help to determine. Never play doctor for yourself, the only clear way to know if you are infected with anything is to get tested. There are various types of HIV testing, which include antibody testing, blood counts, which test how many T-cells, cells that fight infections, are in your blood, rapid testing, antigen testing, PC4 testing, and fourth generation testing. Read more for accurate information at, Avert.org, (http://www.avert.org/testing.htm).
Tragically there is no cure for the HIV infection. This is why it is important that we as individuals take proper measures in protecting ourselves, through both knowledge and , keyword: communication. Also, if you or anyone you know may be dealing with either the possibility or reality of HIV/AIDS, you're not alone. There are a slew of professional services that provide emotional and even financial support, and in complete confidence. If ever you find yourself dealing with this, never go through this alone. There are hotlines, and resource centers to help: (follow the link for one near you, http://www.thebody.com/index/hotlines/state.html). They can help!
Gonorrhea-if you refer back to the chart, is right behind chlamydia. The CDC estimated that more than 700,000 new cases of gonorrhea are reported each year in the United States alone. (http://www.cdc.gov/std/gonorrhea/stdfact-gonorrhea.htm). It is a bacterial infection, also like chlamydia, that thrives in moist places of the reproductive system and urinary tract, and cause inflammation. Infection can even spread to the eyes.
Symptoms are of course rare, but include:
women
-abdominal pain
-spotting or bleeding between periods
-pain or discomfort to the vagina
-pain during urination and frequent urination
men
-abnormal discharge
-painful and frequent urination
-sore testicles
(http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/stds-hiv-safer-sex/gonorrhea-4269.htm).
Complication, if untreated, can include:
In women
-scarring of the fallopian tubes
-PID
-ectopic pregnancy
In men
-scarring of the urethra
-abscess (pus) around the urethra.
In both
-infertility
-joint infections (commonly arthritis)
-heart infection
-meningitis
(http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0004526/).
Gonorrhea can be easily tested, as well as treated. Yet the first step is testing. Refer to the link for more information on gonorrhea testing, http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0004526/.
Syphilis-Don't be fooled, the STD, often nick-named "the great imitator", (http://www.cdc.gov/std/syphilis/stdfact-syphilis.htm), is still around. Syphilis decades ago was a very, largely common STD. After the discovery of penicillin, many professionals believed the frequency of the infection would decrease. No, years later it is still thriving. Syphilis is a bacterial infection, and comes in three stages: primary syphilis, secondary syphilis, and latent syphilis. It is spread through direct contact with the syphilis sore found on the genitals, anus, or mouth, and from mother-to-fetus, (this is called congenital syphilis http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0002320/).
Primary syphilis is the first stage in symptoms. Usually withing 3 weeks after infection, a small round, painless  sore will form but then heal on its own, and later progress toward stage two. (http://www.cdc.gov/std/syphilis/stdfact-syphilis.htm).
Secondary syphilis occurs with rash in different areas of the body, but most commonly the hands and feet. The rash will also heal on its own. Also associated with this stage are the common infection symptoms, (i.e. swollen glands, sore throat, headache, fever, fatigue, nausea). (http://www.cdc.gov/std/syphilis/stdfact-syphilis.htm).
Latent Stage is serious and can be fatal. Latency begins after the first stage and can remain in the body for many years. This stage is also where the real complication of the disease begin to take affect. They include:
damage to
-brain
-nerves
-eyes
-joints
-liver
-blood vessels
-bones
(http://www.cdc.gov/std/syphilis/stdfact-syphilis.htm).
Syphilis is both preventable and treatable. Yet, it is important to consider prevention, rather than to consider these types of complications. Just becuase an STD is curable does not always mean there isnt damge that cant be undone.
Trichomoniasis-is a parasitic infection, more common in women. This is because the parasite is responsible for a common vaginal condition, called vaginitis, (uncomfortable, irritation, and inflammation of the vagina). (http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/stds-hiv-safer-sex/trichomoniasis-4282.htm). If vaginitis does not occur, then there usually are no other symptoms associated, especially with men.
 Trich can be cured, but it is up to you to speak up and ask for testing. Often doctors over look smaller STDs such as this, and will only routinely check you for the four main STDs; HIV, chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis.
Pubic Lice (scabies, and crabs)-Just when you thought your were safe with a condom...well think again! Pubic lice are common and very contagious, especially since you do not even have to actually have sex, come in contact with bodily fluids, and or still wear a condom and be able contract these. However these just might be the least harmful of the big scary monsters we just talked about. Although, I can only imagine the amount of discomfort these little parasites can bring. If you experience any itching, especially persistent, do be afraid to test. Your doctor will be able to prescribe a topical cream or lotion. Note, however that if you are infected or may think you are, take necessary measures to protect those around you, especially those in your household, by staying clean, wash all clothes and linen in hot water, and try not share clothes and linen.
Read more at http://www.womens-health.co.uk/crabs.html.

• Although hepatitis is not really an STD it is a complication that can potentially come from STD infection. Read more about the disease on the Center for Disease Control website. Or follow this link, http://www.cdc.gov/hepatitis/.

So you see, this is why communication is important. Communicate to your partner, not only your concerns about his or her sexual history or sexual health status, but also communicate to them about what you want to take place within your intimacy. If you prefer not to get physical, then your partner should respect that, and agree to perhaps another level of intimacy. Remember there is nothing abnormal about abstinence, (which is 100 percent effective in the prevention of most STDs, I say most because kissing can still lead to certain infections), if that is what you prefer. If you and your partner trust one another, and would like to take the level of physical intimacy, still communicate with one another all your concerns, do not hold anything back, (you'll be surprised by what your partner may reveal by simply asking), and remember if you do not trust his or her reaction or response, then you don't have to make any decisions yet. Never pressure yourself, and definitely don't allow anyone else to pressure you, even if it is "subtle pressure", such as "babe you know I love you", or, "you can trust me"!
 In the end intimacy is a wonderful experience, whether it is spiritual, emotional, or physical; the experience and journey two people are able to share together is priceless. Yet, the price of taking that step and being uncertain of the consequences can be fatal.

Earning Vs Winning

  I was once again focused on the matters of the heart, and I asked myself would I rather a guy who earned my trust and ultimately my heart or would I allow him the chance to win it, and which do I believe would be the most rewarding on our behalf. Then, of course, I thought to myself, is there really even a difference.
  To earn something is to have proven yourself worthy of it, either by character, and honest effort. Say if one were to earn a promotion at work, or earn a spot on a team, or quite simply earn money, in each situation an individual has proven that he or she is both qualified, and even entitled to his or her gain. When a person has earned something, and proven themselves it is then irrefutable, and no one can take their earnings away from them, or deny what is rightfully theirs.
  However, if one is to win something, it is by grace, and usually bestowed either by the approval, judgement, or opinion of another. Yes, there is a bit of work required for the title, yet the most potent part is talent. (This, ladies, we will refer to as "game").

• Now, just because I used the word "game" does not mean I am attatching a negative connotation with it, because in actuality love, relationships, life, success....its all a game, and the only thing that makes it bad, is when one does not go at it with integrity.

  Integrity, in fact is what separates the earnest from the winner. In life, there will be plenty of guys vying for our young, impressionable, delicate hearts. All, of course, with different intentions. No, it will not be quite so easy to spot, or "sort" out the guy with the pure intentions, or integrity. This is where these few hints come in handy:

• Time- a "winner" only has a limited amount of time, because he understands he is in competition. So often, he will cut the "chit-chat", and get right to the chase, meaning he will not allow you or himself enough time to honestly get to know each other, in fact he may even present you with a promise ring the following week after you two have met. Yet, an earnest fellow understands that time is important in a "growing" relationship. Think of the earnest guy, as an investor, yes, he may take his time and test the waters a few times, but it is only to ensure that you and him are getting to know each other, and are making the right decisions. (in most cases).
• Patience- Ever hear the term, "Patience Is Key". Well ladies, when it comes to Mr. Right, this is actually true! Patience ties in, of course, with time; but it deals more so with relationship expectations, and tolerance. Often, the "winner" will expect you to be comfortable meeting certain demands that you may feel uncomfortable with. Great Example, SEX. This is why we as young women, should always (even with an earnest fellow), set boundaries, and if he can not show any patience with you, then you do not have to tolerate him. "To the Left" An earnest man, will understand and respect you, and your boundaries, and will not be so quick to lay any sort of expectations on you.
• Commitment and Goals- Sometimes you'll think, "well after all this time, he's been hanging in there with me, and he hasn't really bugged me about getting into bed, so he must take the relationship serious". This is not always the case, (you don't want to make that mistake). Yes, though I mentioned time as being a judge of an earnest character, there are still some "fool's gold"-tricks out there. A real earnest guy will usually take pride in himself, and that will eventually rub off onto the relationship, and eventually you. Face it, no one wants to be with a LOSER. (not saying that you are). However, along with the relationship growing, an earnest guy will encourage the best in you to shine. While a "winner" may not pay attention or care much less, whether you succeeded with your goals in life, he'll simply be concerned with reaching his own. (Trust me on this ladies, I've been there).

  Lastly, this is where sincerity comes into play. When comparing earning and winning someones heart, you must always include the sincerity behind it, and care being brought forth. People, guys, anyone who seeks to earn something, will put their heart into it, and when concerning relationships he will put his heart into you as well. A winner puts their heart in as well, but that is only because he or she knows there will be a profit at the end. Instead, an earnest individual is not giving their heart because they expect something in return, but because they are faithful characters. They often, like you, are unsure what the outcome will be, whether they are wasting their time or actually building upon something. Blind faith is more passionate, and ultimately more rewarding.

  So ladies, the next time you meet a guy, or think about beginning a relationship, take some time first ,size the individual up (its okay to do that), and see if he has integrity in his character, and is he sincere about you. And remember the charming words of Rudy Huxtable "You have to EARN my LOVE".

This Is Truth, Right Here!

Now, ladies you know that everything this anointed sister right here is about to spit, is something you have experienced within a false relationship. I know, personally, i can relate to absolutely everything she speaks of in her performance. From being single and lonely, to having the wrong guy come into my life, and even though i knew he wasn't the one, allowing him enough room in my heart, just to break it. Thinking i could help him come to the Lord, struggling between my sanctity and my desires, and eventually drifting from the will of the Lord. Eventually, coming back into the protective, merciful, and loving arms of the Lord, and realizing that I had to....

A Man After God's Own Heart!

Based from my own adolescent experiences with guys, I have come to regard them and their ability to be truthful and trustworth in concern to relationships as such:

• A Dog lies (of course)
• A little Boy ony tells haf of the truth (and saves the other half that will follow trouble)
• A Man always delivers the truth (no matter how ugly or how hard the consequnces)

Perhaps with the advancement of life's experiences my view point on this matter will change. However I do understand that before I, myself, seek out another guy to have a relationships with and possibly run the same risk or deception, and heart-break, I think it would be important to first study the characteristics of a good man first. In doing so I can hope to recognize when one does enter my life, and when a man of the opposite character enters my life (in which I will kindly show him the exit!).
Let's focus on the last bullet; a man always delivers the trruth. I know most women (especially those with more experience) would probably dispute my claim. But I like to look at this from a more spiritual view. Referring the the bible in the book of Numbers, chapter 23, and verse 19, it reads:

• "God is not a man who lies, or a son of man who changes His mind. Does he speak and not act, or promise and not fulfill?" (Numbers 23:19)

I know there is a big diference between man and God, and thet even though God is capable of speaking the truth, it doesnt mean that the men placed here on earth are, or that we should even expect them to. This is where the paradox comes in at, becuase it is written in the book of Genesis, chapter 1, and verse 27:

• "So God created man in His own image. He created him in the image of God; He created them male and female." (Gen. 1:27)

After searching the scriptures I realized that it is possible for men to be honest, yet, he has to be a man that follows in the likeness and image of God. I know that in these days it is rather hard to find a man like this, who lives his life and models his character after the will of the Lord, yet a man such as this is well worth the wait.

What This Girl Wants

Guys if you are thinking about pursuing a relationship with me here are a few things you should know!

   First off, dont'even look for the "Cheat Sheet". Yes, I said it. Often in relationships guys are expecting us girls to tell them exactly what we want and what we are looking for. That's major flaw number one, because most girls and women (especially my age), are not even sure of what we want, but we will know it when we experience it. If a guy is seeking a relationship with me, no I'm not going to provide him a "cheat sheet" into my heart. A "cheat sheet" enables exactly what it's name implies. With a "Cheat Sheet" a guy is able to memorize, and mimic those things we as girls claim that we want in a guy. Essentially he is cheating both himself, us, and the relationship, by not presenting his true personality and character to us. Instead, as I mentioned, he will simply fulfill those things we listed in hopes that it will speed things up.
   I guess this is where most guys get frustrated with me at, and give up. (Laughing out Loud). I, as unique and complicated as I might be, believe that I am worth a guys time. See I feel that if a guy who is interested in dating and being in relationship with me, really wants to know "what I want", then he will take the time and learn me. No, not learn as in study me, as if i were some kind of lab rat. Instead, I mean he would have to spend time with me, communicating, getting to know me, seeing what I am about, what I believe in, who I am, and who I aspire to be, where do I plan on going in life, what are my goals, and aspirations. Yeah, I know it seems like I'm asking him to search my soul, but I'm really not. See often, with relationships today, girls let guys off way too easy, and allow them to get away with so many excuses concerning how he treats her, that now guys have fallen into the misconception that they really don't need to spend that much time getting to know us. I can not count the times where I have been approached by a guy that felt it was just "too much work" to get to know me. I understand that I am not just a beautiful face, but also I am a beautiful person, and I am well worth the guy's time spent in getting to know me. (oh well, i guess its just their loss, huh?).Yes, its nothing but hard work, and persistence, being with me, and I honestly want a guy strong enough to stand the test.
   See, when i think of relationships, I consider them to be a bond between any number of people, that include communication, shared experiences and interests, and trust. These types of relationships exists amongst friends, family, co-workers, partners, and such. Yet, when a relationship is being formed between only two people (who are romantically interested), then all these components of a relationship are taken to a deeper, and more intimate level. And when these two people are able to achieve these components on this level, they are able to form a deeper appreciation for each other. This is what I truly want, as a girl. I want someone that can appreciate Morae, for everything that she is, and can be. In the same token, Morae also understands that, as in any relationship, both partners must benefit. So, I also want a guy that wants to be appreciated, (meaning he has to be doing something with his life), and with that we can grow together, influence and inspire one another, learn, and become better individuals for each other.

This is just a tid-bit of what I don't want:

• I dont need a daddy!!

  I really don't want a guy that believes he always has to come out of his pockets and spend on me. I am capable of taking care of Morae. This doesn't mean that i wouldn't want a chivalrous guy, that wouldn't leave me stuck with the check, should he and i go out to eat.

• I am not your personal property!!

  I'm sick of guys who try to "claim" me. I'm not a piece of property, I'm a woman. I, instead, would rather a gentlemen that knows how to respect me, and my physical, mental, emotional, and even spiritual space.

• No "Baby Boys" and no "Scrubs"

I'm not Yvette, and do not hope to find myself a "Jodi". (if you know what i mean). Respect yourself as a man, anb be about something.
 
So hope with me ladies that I can one day find what this girl wants.

Strength and Love

Even the strong become weary too. Life is hard and even the things that make it beautiful turn ugly. Prime examples are love and family. I mean the thought of those who you love and care for, fight and survive for doing you wrong and not even giving a care in the world about the sacrifices you make for the bond between them and yourself, hurts. It hurts when you realize when they do not value you the same way you value you them, yet they continue to strive of your love and your kindness. You say you do this all for love, but love is supposed to be free and it comes without condition. No, instead you do this to win hearts and gain acceptance,  hoping that you will be rewarded with the same love that you show them. You're only trying to fill the void of the missing heart that you loan out to others. meanwhile you're losing energy and heart. the things you used to be so passionate about lose meaning. Those who you thought would be there to help give you strength are no where to be found. And they say only the strong survive. Where now do I gather my strength, since I am stripped of the heart that was supposed to power it?

What Makes Morae....

Here's the same poem "What Makes A Woman" that I posted a couple of months ago, now with a more sense evoking image. Enjoy

Empty to Fulfilled

    The empty feeling after a passionate love is a cold one. It seems there is nothing to take solace in, and no one that can provide the adequate support and comfort. Days are met with grief, and nights are insanely lonely. All the while the sea of overwhelming, and heartfelt emotions is ever rising, and causing one to lose consciousness with the world around her. Heartbreaks are mere abrasions compared to the bloody and infected wound, the heart endures. Solemn devotions are now considered vain, and the constant reminder of a former lovers rejection is always present. Insanity is almost near. Yet just before the oblivious state of mind, and heart begins to set in, it is clear that the love, joy, and euphoric pleasures of life have departed, and there is nothing more than a hollowed and empty vessel left for the taking.


......But then came Jesus.

What Makes A Woman...

What validates a woman...

    is it the loss of her virginity
    is it the deep wound of her broken heart
    is it her courage to love again
    or perhaps the power to love herself


What makes a woman beautiful...

    is it the approval of a man
    is it by immaculate physical maintennance
    is it by the grace of her character
    or perhaps the respect she holds for herself


What makes a woman strong...

    is it the battle she hosts between her mind and her heart
    is it the humility to face both shame and honor
    is it her will to reach her full potential
    or perhaps the embrace of her womanhood

                                                                

Bit-by-Bit.....and Exhale

   Everyone has had at least one or two people that have come into their lives, left a huge mark, and then left them to struggle with the pain of his/her absence. The feeling is almost insurmountable and can leave one breathless, it can even drive one into extreme fits of silence, starvation, depression, bitterness and many other 'un-healthy" physical and emotional disorders. Nearly everything reminds you of that person, the joy you shared with them, and the pain you suffered for them; all these memories that you are left to cope with are mere disappointments as you realize what you thought was a "healthy and growing" relationship was just a waste of your time, energy, and passion. And to think this is what they call "Love".
   Well obviously its not. Often people misinterpret their relationships for those they have envisioned or dreamed of, and make the fatal mistake of  ignoring or becoming ignorant to the reality of things. Reality equals truth, and the truth hurts. If anything that's the only pain a person should experience from a relationship; the pain of knowing the person they were "in-love" with may not share the same emotional connection with him/her, or that perhaps he/she is not the right one.
   Soon "bit-by-bit", as you are finally grasping hold to reality you learn to free your mind of those memories that always seem to bind you back in love with him/her. The same person, and memories that used to take your breath away, can allow to re-gain your breath once you learn to let them go. Chock it up as a lesson learned, or stepping stone in your road to success/growth, or whichever you may feel is appropriate for you. This last part can be considered exhaling or "breathing". Webster's defines breathe as an adjective : to live. Basically continue the rest of your life in a healthy "non-obsessive" manner with the new experience of love and relationships that you have under you belt; and when your life does bring you to that chapter again make wiser decisions.

That's So Cool!!!

    This song had to have been released when i was no more than 4, I actually remember hearing it play on the radio and feeling a sense of serenity and tranquility aided by the smooth and subtle beat in the background. However, it took for me to experience, middle school, high school, adolescence, pre-teen, and teenage years to only grasp a piece of what Des'ree is speaking of in her nonetheless inspirational song, titled "You Gotta Be". No I do not think I'm "cool", incongruently I believe I am one of those students and people who will forever be deprived of that title. But then of course it all depends on the character/s one is required to posses in order to  be "entitled".  Des'ree lists perfectly in the songs what she feels the best characteristics are.  
    Listen closely to Des'ree's lyrics....what do you think it takes to be cool? Do you believe you have all the qualities and characteristics that it takes to be "cool"? Perhaps you're "cool" in your own right.

Fortune Teller

       As I young adult with an entire lifetime ahead of her, I often wonder what my future may hold. It's sometimes impossible to predict when things do not go according to plan at all, especially my education. Recently I had to withdraw from Rutgers University, that decision nearly crushed my little heart. For the past eight months all I could do was eat, sleep, practically breath Rutgers. Sadly my air-supply was cut off when I received a blow in my state aid (Thank You Governor Christie) causing me to catch a second wind. Yep, that second wind can be referred to as community college. (Sigh....).
       Obviously this puts a huge damper in my carefully illustrated, intricately designed, plan of graduating with a bachelor and master degree within 5 years as Rutgers would have assisted me in doing, and beginning my career early. However, as I sit back and meditate and divulge into thought, I notice a teeny tiny little flaw within my plan. The flaw was me. Instead of leaving all the complications and deliberations, negotiations, and all that hard stuff to my Lord to work out, I was so spearheaded about decisions that were not meant for me to make and paths that were not meant for me to take.
         I mean I feel pretty confident in making good decisions for myself and my future, but I realize only God is capable of making the absolute best. Perhaps if I had paid close attention to the path he had laid out for me, (which I'm pretty sure he did present it to me, I just wasn't paying attention I guess), I wouldn't have been so shocked or heart-broken when I found myself having to forsake my own plan. This is also a good lesson in change and how it can enhance your spiritual, mental, and emotional growth. I digress,however,  and and leave you with the question of: who is your fortune teller?

Is it Your Face We See on Facebook? =p

I knew it would eventually come to this. The other day I went to see a movie with a friend, and while watching the coming attractions, I noticed that there would be a movie coming out soon about the creation of facebook and it's intended purpose or influence on today's generation of college students. The movie is titled The Social Network, and it hits the movie theaters October 1st.
    One thing I found most interesting about this trailer, besides the fact that I always knew hollywood would end up making a movie about facebook, but also the song they play in the background. The song is by Scala Choir and Kolancy Bro. and is titled "Creep". I listened carefully to the lyrics becuase they describe almost perfectly the millions of facebook members. The lyrics include:

      When you were here before
      Couldn't look you in the eye
      You're just like an angel
      Your skin makes me cry

      You float like a feather
      In a beautiful world
      And I wish I was special
     You're so f*ckin' special

     But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo
    What the hell am I doing here?
     I don't belong here

     I don't care if it hurts
     I want to have control
     I want a perfect body
     I want a perfect soul

     I want you to notice
    When I'm not around
    You're so f*ckin' special
     I wish I was special...

      Have not most, if not all, facebook members wished they were special? After viewing this trailer it cuased me to think of the popular social networking site, it's evolution and it's profound influence on its users, even more largely the present generation. Recently some of its users have dubbed the social networking site as the "freak show" or the "world's greatest show" . However, these users are not coming against the facebook site itself, instead they are speaking against the influence and the character that many facebook users have adopted. they range from, cyber bullies, gossip queens, "wanna-be's", and etc., yet all of these characteristics transpire down to lying, and attention seeking.
    Throughout the two years that I've had a facebook and have made and found friends from various backgrounds, cultures and influences, I have noticed that no matter who it is, a facebook never truely present his/her to facebook.
    The new trend I've noticed now is to make up names (almost like how we did in myspace), that represent how a person would like to be viewed as, or what they wished they could be, anything other than their actual name, and they do just about anything to live up to these "nick names", or alias, or for some, alter-egos.This is almost like facebook users are creating their own altered reality in which they "control" and they are the absolute center of attention. They can control what people view them as, who people view them as, how much of themselves they share, and how many lies they tell. People almost go out there way to post pictures or update statuses that depict them at a certain time of the day or a certain moment, in which they may feel most creative, appreciated, "cool", or simply having the time of their life, yet they never show allow themselves to be seen as who they truely are at times when things are just mellow, or not that exciting. They never reveal to facebook their real face. It seemed to me that almost within the last year there has been an overflow of "facebook diva's", "facebook thugs", "facebook professionals", and "facebook socialites"....I mean come on, we all know "your" just not that special.
      Yet, isn't that the point; to make every facebook member feel special, to let people know that not only is a certain individual alive still, but that he/she is having "the time of his/her life", and they must share this with the rest of the world. But what happens when the certain individual doesn't have a life....over-compensation perhaps?....maybe even a little lying? But to who, facebook or themselves. It's almost scarey to imagine that facebook has had this much influence on its members, and to know that the very same people, wether they be family members, firends, co-workers, classmates, whomever, can become almost a completely different person over the internet. It is almost as if they have two faces, one they present to you physically or face to face, and then another that they present to facebook.
     So I ask, which face do you present to facebook, and whichever face that is, is it your face that we see on facebook?
    
   

            
             
        

Hey Wat's up

    I'm getting ready to leave for college in a few weeks, and I find that I have a lot of concerns, thoughts, questions, ideas and many other things bubbling over in my mind. I understand that the experience and journey that I am embarking on is a "life changer' as most would describe. However, as I yet ponder all these new a different possibilities that I am sure college life will offer me, I can't help but to form some of my own preconceptions. Some examples are:

• I know I will at least have one completely "out of his/her mind professor" within my first and second semester.
• I know my roommate will have at least one quality I will either find weird or interesting (I hope I find it interesting).
• The dining hall food will not compare to my mom's homemade meals.
• How in the world will I make friends amongst 6,928,581 students? (I feel little now).
• What does one wear to a college party?

     These are just a few of the many concerns I, and I'm pretty sure many other's who are embarking on their first college experience as well, are facing. Yet the big question is, how does one learn to accept these changes, challenges, (or whatever you may refer to them as)?
     I believe one of the most essential tools to bring along with you to college this fall is the right attitude. Sometimes the attitude with which we present to others or to certain situations can determine our success and the continuing direction that we follow. Suppose I do get a crazy professor this fall, or my roommate has qualities I've never encountered, or the dining hall food makes me take frequent trips to the ladies room (I really hope it doesn't), the positive attitude that I present to these situations and that I present myself with will in turn  create opportunities that will help me to grow and even learn about myself, my limits, and strengths and also help give "hopefully" a positive insight to others, whether it be about your character or the situation.

     So you see, with presenting the right attitude, more people have a greater opportunity to learn and grow, instead of no one at all. =)